The changes continue!

Just returned to New Orleans from a visit to Washington. My middle daughter (who lives down here with us) and I journeyed "home" together. It was a whirlwind week that included (amongst visits to friends and other family) my oldest daughter's 30th and my mom's 80th birthdays (two days apart) and a high school graduation party for my oldest granddaughter.

After reading over all the laments from my last post, (where I was remembering the first Christmas away from most of my children and how I was agonizing, during that time, over the work I do with Liberty House) I realize today, I'm feeling pretty "alright"!! As a matter of fact, many of my writings in this blog have been precipitated by strong feelings of homesickness or frustration about work or loneliness in general, and that just isn't the case today. I just wanted to set down some milestones and touch base with my other writing.

Let's see, where am I today? My work at Liberty House may be ending soon and while I have mixed feelings about that (more about that later), I see it as a sort of inevitability, and that makes that reality more palpable. I miss my kids at "home" like crazy, seeing them this past week (the four, no five, counting my beautiful daughter-in-heart, still living in Washington) was balm to my soul! However, recognizing how well they're doing and how strong and capable they are, even when I'm not "just down the block" allowed me a window, and time, to examine my own life from a different prospective. What I found was; it's OK for me to live here and them to live there! Imagine that!!! We do and will continue to miss each other like crazy, but we have and will survive. We will have interesting, engaging lives even with the umbilical cord cut. And, of course, we'll see each other and enjoy each other every time we can. Who knew it could be that simple????

One of the greatest blessings of this trip home was being invited to the home of my granddaughter and her family, for her graduation party. This young woman was the infant placed for adoption at birth by my second son and the birth mother. Wise beyond their years, these two young people knew they were not ready for parenthood at that moment and because of their shared love, sacrifice and courage, this amazing child was raised and loved, adored and guided by the most extraordinary couple.

I have been privileged to have had the opportunity to remain in contact over the intervening eighteen years with the (adopted) mom through letters, pictures, emails and now "in person" visits! We (my granddaughter and her mom) met for the first time in January when I went to Washington for a visit. Since then my son has had his own reunion with them and, during this trip home, my son and I were both honored to receive invitations to the graduation party at their home. It feels like a complete circle. What started (for us) in such pain and uncertainty, has become a source of great joy for our whole family. We truly have the beginnings of a real extended family. Again... WHO KNEW???

Now, about Liberty House and the work I do there. First and foremost; I love the children in my care! I love the mommas I have relationship with! I honestly can say I love my coworkers at the house. I especially love the mission and ministry that happens at Liberty House!! The success stories are the kinds of stuff movies are made of!!! What is becoming increasingly intolerable to me is the intrigue and duplicity of those who conduct the business of Liberty House. I'm not saying they do anything illegal, I'm saying they're probably not astute business managers in general and it seems to me, they haven't demonstrated good managerial techniques for the business end of Liberty House specifically!

We (my coworkers and I) work for a nonprofit. Implicit in that fact is the understanding that "monies are available when they are available." No one who works there doesn't understand that simple truth. Money in and of itself is not the cause of my discontent. What I can't fathom is why the "powers to be" jeopardize the work, the true heart and purpose of the mission of Liberty House, to provide the resident mothers and their children, who have been formerly homeless, abused, lost in the system, a jumping off place to begin a new way of life, in order to provide in-house child care for those moms. The salaries of the child care workers are about to drive Liberty House under. Yes, in an ideal world, a day care could/should pay for itself, of course! We all know that, but what we're talking about is this particular day care, in this particular environment! Liberty House is, first and foremost, available to the residence for the care of their children. These moms are largely unemployed, or at the very best under employed while going to school. They, in large, receive child care assistance, when and if they apply and when and if they qualify. We will take children from the community into the center when space is available, but the community surrounding Liberty House is as poor as the residents themselves! And who, from a more affluent circumstance, would readily bring their child to a child care situation in the heart of a neighborhood afflicted with such poverty of spirit as well as material things, if they didn't have too? Without the possibility of parents who can pay for services rendered, the ability of the house to turn the day care into a "pay for itself" entity is gone. Over the last few months, I have voiced my opinion often and loudly! To save the very valid and vital mission of Liberty House, the child care portion should close. The mommas need to find child care outside the house in any of the (many) near by, quality day care facilities.

People are beginning to listen. We (my teaching partners and I) will no doubt be closing those doors (to the child care portion of the house) and looking for other work by the end of the month. I know I will. It's sad not to be able to see the dream through, but at this stage, I'm not sure what "seeing it through" is supposed to look like. Who knows, maybe this is it and I'm just not recognizing what I'm seeing.

As always... more to be revealed
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