Adjustments

Today I sold a chair to a neighbor. Not only did she buy the chair, but she commissioned me to paint some other wooden furniture she already has. This "being an artist" thing sometimes takes me by surprise. I never know when the label will overtake some perfectly ordinary moment in my day. It's one thing to enjoy what I do, hobby or otherwise, but it's quite another layer to call myself "artist" and then risk putting my my work out there, being vulnerable to the critique of the world. I don't think it's false modesty to wonder whether or not any piece of work I'm offering is worthy of someone else's notice. I think it may be human nature. Well, it's certainly mine, and I'm human! I wonder if there's a magic moment, in the life of an artist, when they suddenly realize they have become absolutely sure of the quality of their work and the esteem with which the public will receive it, and so they are no longer reluctant to "put it out there"? Just a wonderment, no answer forthcoming or necessary.

Yesterday, John and I and some friends walked to a horse racing track about three miles from our house. It was a lovely afternoon and we thought it might be fun to go watch the horses race. It was all of the above! I'm struck over and over at how close everything is here, and how willing we are to walk. We walk to the park several times a week, we walk to the grocery store, we walk to friends homes, it's even possible to walk to church, but I'd have to get up earlier and (for now) that's not something I'm willing to do! ;-)

I started a job last week! Not a big thing, but something that will be, or at least holds the potential to be, very rewarding. A friend of mine is the director of a small child care center, at a women's and children's homeless shelter, and she has asked me to come offer some art projects for the children, possibly involving the mom's as well at some point. I'll also be part of the child care team, but bringing art into these young peoples lives is really what draws me. I read a book many years ago, by Julia Cameron, called "The Artist Way." As much as such a thing is possible, the book changed my life! I hope to pass on at least some of the wisdom and vision of Cameron to these children.

There have been days lately, when Pt. Orchard and our lives there, seem so far away, like a story I knew once. Other days, a smell or a sound will trigger such vivid memories of our life and times there, our family and friends left behind, that it's all I can do not to drop to my knees weeping over the loss. It's definitely a difficult and sometimes weird balancing act, psychically. One night recently, we were walking in the French Quarter leaving a pub, after having just listened to a friends band playing there. I found myself smiling somewhat smuggly (inwardly) over the fact that I live here and most of the people passing by were "just" tourists. Most any other day, usually while attempting to drive somewhere, anywhere, I find myself so frustrated at having to learn a whole new series of routes to get anywhere! I just want to go "home" and drive those very familiar roads again, resting in the confident knowledge I know where everything is and how to get there.

When I was a kid, we moved all the time. But, as an adult and mother, I wanted something different for my kids, so we pretty much stayed put, moving only to different homes within Kitsap Co. I absolutely hated all those childhood moves!! (Thirteen different schools before the 9th grade) Now, hindsight being such as it is, I recognize those moves gave me a "gift" of sorts. Moving often forced me to adapt, quickly! I became very adept at finding my niche, my circle of friends, and making some kind of order in each new environment. Now, I wonder if it's been so long since I was the "new kid" that I've lost that gift? Well, I guess it can't be completely lost because I am adapting, I am finding my niche and my circle of friends, it just seems so much more tramatic now that it did when I was younger. Maybe I just spend to much time inside my head or typing here.

Tonight we're having dinner with friends, we'll laugh together, swap more of our life stories with one another, reveal a bit more or our "tender under bellys" and grow that much closer in the process. We're streghtening our friendshp foundations, while we individuually and occassionally collectively, make our way into the lives we've chosen. They're adjusting, I'm adjusting, who could ask for more?

Namaste'
my