Sweet Time

I haven't taken any time lately to sit down and organize my thoughts here. I miss writing to myself, to my few readers, and especially to my devoted husband, who is my most honest, loving, supportive, reader. One reason for the lack of posts is the calm in my life right now. No great obstacles to recognize and overcome, no overwhelming sense of loss to deal with and no pressing commitments to juggle. I noted to no one in particular the other day, since moving to New Orleans, I haven't been late for anything! That's a real divergence from my former life where I felt late, slightly behind, all the time!! I have this growing, wonderful sense of freedom from the "have to's" and the "must do's." It's a pretty addictive way of approaching life, I like it!

I'm walking a lot more, 3 to 6 miles a day. I'm "reading" a lot more too. Listening to books on tape while I walk, must count as some kind of reading(right?). And, most fun of all, I'm getting lots of chairs ready for a craft fair at the end of Nov. If I'm lucky enough to get a space in this particular one, I believe it will help turn the tide from a sale here and there, to a true business with chairs moving out as fast as I can get them painted.

There was a major milestone in the life of my family recently. I hesitate to write about it here, because of privacy issues, but since so few people frequent this blog, and I won't use names, I think it will be OK. My oldest granddaughter, daughter of my second son, turned 18! I know most of us(all?) parents/grandparents feel the rush of time most exquisitely when we watch how rapidly the children in our lives grow from infant to adult. This is such a common phenomenon, you'd think we'd grow immune to its sting, but that seems not to be the case. I'm a curious mixture of proud, sad, excited, and scared over this milestone birthday.

In wisdom beyond their teenaged years, my son and his then girlfriend, made the heart wrenchingly hard decision to relinquish custody of their daughter at birth. They knew they were not ready to become parents. What began in pain, has grown into an extraordinary relationship between myself and the adoptive parents. The faithfulness of my granddaughters adoptive mother to maintain contact with me, through letters and pictures, all these years, is one of the purest blessings of my life! I've actually thought, from time to time, that it's probably she I look most forward to meeting, even more than my granddaughter! Ironic! She is a devoted mother, strong and selfless and I admire everything about her. A time in my life I referred to, in the moment, as the darkest hour, has become a joy filled situation, surrounded with love shared for a precious child, recently turned woman, all due to the commitment, compassion and grace of this woman, this perfect, gift from God, the mother of my granddaughter.

Now we all of a sudden, find ourselves nearing the time when we might all meet and establish a whole new kind of relationship. Recently the birth mother, myself and my son have reconnected, and soon the birth mother hopes to initiate contact with the child she bore and her family. It's swirling around us now, this energy of something wonderful, yet scary, approaching. Personally, I'm very content to just bask in that energy right now. Let the changes happen in a very deliberate and non-hurried manner. This set of circumstances has been a source of joy to me for eighteen years, and I'm just not in a hurry to see it change.

You, my faithful readers, can be sure there will be more stories to tell, this adventure, and all of it's inter connected chapters, has barely just begun. It's time to go paint a bit on a chair and then take a walk. I love these times of my life. Sweet time!